How Trusting God Healed My Marriage - A Wounded Wife's Testimony

Does your marriage need healing? I hope this beautiful testimony from Michele gives you hope that no matter how minor or how deeply ingrained your difficulties are, there is always hope, as long as we are willing to humble ourselves to trust God’s biblical design for marriage.

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“When I reflect back through 2019, the highlight was easily this amazing 4 step piece of advice from my biblical mentor that changed my life and saved my marriage:

Humble yourself
Read God’s word
Do what it says
Trust Him for the outcome

A long time coming…

My husband and I were emotionally estranged for most of our 24 years of marriage. I had been the victim of emotional abuse, and when I finally left him, I was mentally weary, physically sick and not the slightest bit interested in reconciliation.

Although the abuse had stopped about five years before I left him, I didn’t care. I was done. To add to the mess, I had become unapologetically cruel towards him — in an embarrassing display of what bitterness can do to a person.

But, I Humbled Myself and Forgave

I spent considerable time forcing forgiveness on my incapable heart. Exhausted from my efforts, I didn’t realize that in my own strength I would never accomplish it.

And then one night the Holy Spirit said, “It’s time”.

Tears poured down my cheeks, washing away the loss of all the beautiful things I’d hoped for in my marriage that had never come to pass. A weight was gone, and it wasn’t me that had lifted it.

It was God’s Spirit in me that had done the work.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” – James 1:22

I Read the Word of God

I began to read the bible more regularly and pray Ephesians 1:17-23 and Ephesians 3:16-21 as daily personal prayers, inserting “I” wherever it said “you”.

My mentor explained that years of abuse and not feeling loved had calloused my heart, and the callouses had become a barrier to giving and receiving love from other people but more importantly from God.

As I soaked in the Word, ever-so gradually my heart began to soften, not only making it more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, but it also had a liberating effect on how I expressed my feelings towards family and friends.

I had a new freedom.

I Did What the Word Said

During one session, my mentor suggested I start speaking out confessions concerning my marriage.

For example:

The verse,

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5 (NIV)

The confession:

“God, your love has been poured out into my heart through the Holy Spirit who has been given to me and with the love you have given me, I will love my husband John”.

Sounds easy enough, right?

Nope.

I couldn’t get the words, “I will love my husband” out of my mouth.

It was a kind of battle I’d never experienced. My body was tense, and my fists clenched in resistance as I tried to squeeze those words out of my mouth. I had not thought of myself as a wife for a long time and my flesh didn’t want to take on that identity again.

I Had to Trust God for the Outcome

Eventually, with gentle prompting from my mentor, but not without tears, I was able to release the words, “I will love my husband.” As I did, I knew that I had just physically submitted myself to the will of God. It was a powerful moment that I’ll never forget.

Why had it been so hard?

Up until that point, I had been obedient by forgiving my husband and staying grounded in the Word, but I was worried about the next step.

Could God transform my heart so that I would want to be the wife that He wanted me to be?

As I continued to speak biblical confessions over myself and my marriage, the gradual result was not only miraculous, but it accomplished what I had thought it could not. It softened my heart towards my husband.

In turn, he responded to the change in me and gradually we rekindled a friendship that eventually led to complete reconciliation.

No Overnight Miracle

This was not an overnight miracle; this was a commitment to submit to God’s will for my life as it is laid out in scripture and respond to my husband according to the Word of God, and not according to his actions or my feelings.

It wasn’t an easy journey, but the results are evidence to me that God wants to intervene in our lives in every situation. He’s just asking us to, “Humble ourselves, read His word and do what it says, trusting Him for the outcome.”

That’s the game plan.

He loves you.

He is good.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Michele is a Christian Blogger from British Columbia who loves music, languages, travel and writing about her faith in Jesus. She is married with two gorgeous children and a wonderful son-in-law. These days, she is excited to be co-writing her first book which details the beauty and grace God demonstrated when He healed her marriage. You can find her at www.gracemademeholy.com.