Why seek God?
Seek the Lord, while He may be found: call upon him, while He is near. – Isaiah 55:6
Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and His justice, and all these things shall be added unto you. – Matthew 6:33
We live in a culture of self-sufficiency. We rely on ourselves to take care of ourselves and take care of everybody else. It’s a form of exhaustion incarnate that breeds an intense addiction to “relaxation” and “self-care“. Or else, we fall into the opposite extreme: depressed, incapable, and purposeless couch potatoes, spoiled rotten by everyone else who is on the other end of the spectrum. Both extremes jealous of the other: one for their purpose, one for their seeming lack of responsibility.
Where is God in this mess?
The answer is nowhere. He is an afterthought or an added “burden”, at best, something to be used as a crutch for the capable person to keep up their ridiculous pace forever or make themselves feel better when their burdens get too heavy.
But, this is not what we were made for, not what will bring us peace or lasting joy. Something in us knows this, we just don’t know what to do about it.
We are spiritual beings,
created of body AND soul. We cannot be at peace until our soul is also satiated. But, our souls are so neglected they are parched, shriveled, and ready to crumble.
“…but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:14
We know we are spiritual beings but we don’t see how God, practically speaking, can help with our everyday lives (especially when there is no room for Him in them – unless we want Him to make our lives more convenient/comfortable for us, of course). We fear somehow that with God comes discipline, rigor, “restrictions on our freedom”, and let’s be honest, how common are all those miracles we seek? Is it worth it?
We are too busy seeking happiness and “success” to seek God. But, what’s it all for if it leaves us dried up, exhausted, and still unfinished with all the things we want to accomplish?
It would take admitting our burnt out status to begin to address the problem. However, once we agree and begin our pursuit, we quickly run into a second difficulty…
If God wants me to be happy, fulfilled, peaceful, etc…, why does it feel, after a while, like there is NOTHING in it for me when following Him? Where are all the sensible consolations that kept me going at first? Why does it feel like “the only reason for having any faith is that it’s tested again and again every day”? How am I supposed to persevere when “following Christ is miserable“?
Its only miserable when we are fighting against the changes He is trying to make. Yes, we fight God. Often times, we only want Him in our lives on our own terms. A relationship with God is fine as long as He’s willing to make everything the way I want it right now, but not if He wants to make changes.
The funny part is that we HAVE to change, we have to accept God on His terms, if we want to see the perfection we seek in our lives. The peace we’ve been longing for doesn’t come from our externals being the way we want them, but rather from a complete internal overhaul.
“If you would only stop fighting Me, you would have more energy for the battles that matter” – ParticularlyCALLED
We must keep surrendering in gratitude and trusting in love and so that we can begin to see the beauty and purpose of His leading through hindsight. Joy comes in detaching ourselves from the way we think God should operate, and in detaching ourselves from what we “want” God to do, because we trust Him.
It feels like death…
It feels like nothing will matter anymore if we let go, it feels like giving up and like you’d rather die than quit fighting for what you think/believe is best, it feels like being stripped of everything you ever cared about and being told that nothing you ever thought mattered at all. It feels like cruelty until one day you realize it all makes sense…. but even then, even in our understanding and agreement, the human part of you wants to scream that it shouldn’t have to be this hard or this impenetrably dark.
It is not a fun journey, this path to the Cross. It is not sunshine and roses. It is arduous and unending, until one day, mercifully, death will call us to our final rest.
So, why do it??? Why Seek God?
Because it makes our lives make sense. It makes our longings make sense. It makes who we are somehow come to life when we never even knew that part of us existed. It is endlessly surprising and breathtakingly beautiful, it is exhausting but somehow also energizing like the exhilaration of an intense workout with a “merciless” but highly effective Trainer. In a word, it makes us who we were meant to be, even though we never even knew we were/could.
God is not comfortable, dearest heart. He is a raging fire. Only approach Him in earnest if you desire to be consumed, and in the process, set ablaze.
