The Better Way to Approach the "Problem of Suffering"

Can we just be honest here? I hate it when people call it the “problem of suffering”. The whole question of why does a good God allow good people to experience pain. People are ok with suffering as a consequence for “bad” people/sin (as long as it not for them) but not ok if suffering is just part of life.

I get it. We were made for paradise. We will never be happy with anything less. BUT, hello, have we forgotten that this world is NOT our home? That its shortcomings are meant to make us long for heaven? That we aren’t supposed to want to stay here forever?

There will always be suffering, it is part and parcel of this life. There will always be problems, bad decisions and uncontrollable circumstances. Illness, insects, and injuries will always be part of the human experience.

The goal of this life isn’t to be as comfortable and happy as we possibly can here and now, it’s to use every moment to propel us closer and further to the real goal.

We glory in our sufferings… – Romans 5:3-5

The irony of suffering is that when we run from it or try to somehow prove ourselves more powerful than it, it engulfs us ever more deeply into the hopeless abyss, but when we give ourselves fearlessly over to it, then it becomes the very source of our triumph.

We seriously need a perspective shift. Suffering doesn’t have to be horrible, nor something to be feared or avoided… that’s the beauty of it!!

Viewing suffering as a problem is the first problem.

Therefore, the solution isn’t eliminating suffering, ignoring suffering, redefining suffering, or building more intense safety precautions against suffering… the solution is learning to leverage it!

HOW TO LEVERAGE SUFFERING

Leveraging suffering is the most Christlike thing that we can do in this life. If we are called to imitate Christ then we are called to leverage suffering

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. – Ephesians 5:1-2

The ultimate quality of the divine

If God alone can conquer death, then it is truly only God in us that can teach us to suffer well – to go “like a lamb to the slaughter” (Isaiah 53:7). If love is what transforms suffering, and God is love (1 John 4), therefore when we accept our sufferings as ordained by the will of God and remember that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28) then, with a little (ok, a lot) of practice we can learn to say with Him…

You [suffering] can have no power over me unless it is given to you from above. – John 19:11.

5 Typical Approaches to Suffering

We can become “mentally strong” – where we don’t view pain as suffering and keep convincing ourselves that “life is good”. We can keep telling ourselves that we can be perfectly happy here and now if only we have enough money to buy what we want, and do enough rewiring our brains to convince ourselves that the rest doesn’t matter as long as we make sure to prioritize self-care.
We can grumble about it and shake our fists at God and everyone else for how unfair it all is…. sometimes even lashing out at others in our anger as we search for someone to blame or to get attention in a desperate attempt to quell the pain inside.
We can meticulously attack it, finding solutions for one problem at a time for our entire lives until we realize there is no solution for the “problem” of death. And then we realize we have never had a chance to rest either… what was it all for if there is ultimately no solution?
We can run from it. Blaming everything on something else. Making excuses. Hoping that it somehow won’t or cannot follow us. Believing that the grass is greener somewhere else and that if we just had a different life, all would be well. We keep telling ourselves that happiness is just beyond our reach. We chase it like the phantom/elusive carrot and we would be happy “if only” circumstances would change
We can quietly wallow in our misery and give ourselves over to depression and or addictions ultimately culminating in intense self-loathing, despair, and often even suicide.

The ATYPICAL approach to suffering…

…which is actually the beginning of the solution

Accept it as a reality. Not because we are complacent or masochistic (as some accusations will suggest), but rather, in order to leverage it. This takes incredible mental strength. It takes calm, rational behavior in the most challenging moments. It takes acceptance of reality without playing the victim card. It takes faith that it is possible to turn anything around. It takes gratitude to remain hopeful. It takes perseverance to fail in our initial efforts and return to try again. It means, in the moment you want to quit the most, learning to “lean into” the pain rather than running away. This helps us to become more humble, more grounded, more empathetic, more loving.

“We glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. – Romans 5:3-4

It doesn’t matter that the cross is unfair.

Hello. That’s what makes it a cross. (See also: The difference between Crosses and Consequences) Christ’s death on the Cross was unfair. It was horrific, His tortures inhumane and unsupportable, and yet He says “you must also follow where I lead” – Matthew 16:24 (Paraphrased).

The most incredible beauty of the Cross is that it takes the most unspeakable evils that man or demon can possibly devise and transforms them into love.

The beauty of the Cross is precisely that God didn’t try to avoid it, but instead He embraced it! It is only in embracing suffering that it loses its power over us and becomes precisely the tool we need for triumphing over the darkness.

The cross is where we say to ourselves, “If this little thing could make a difference, would I do it? If this little trial could have value, would I approach it with a fresh perspective (not to mention, attitude)? If this experience of discomfort could increase my love for God (or my spouse or my child or my calling), would I be more accepting of it as an opportunity, rather than a punishment, an obligation, or a drudgery.

You will know you are on the right track when suffering no longer feels like pain, it feels like love! – ParticularlyCALLED

Suffering is not a problem, it is an opportunity!

This is where we begin to thank God for the very things we hate the most because they have the greatest potential for value.

Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity to grow in this area/virtue where I am weak.
Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity to love my spouse/child/neighbor, or
Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity to steward this relationship, or to offer myself in someone else’s stead.

We should also not focus our efforts on praying for things to be the way we want them, but rather for the means to live out God’s plan well. (Don’t pray for the ends, pray for the means…)

My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will. – Matthew 26:39

In 4 Simple Steps: How to Leverage Suffering

Acceptance (Mindset work to check our initial reactions)
Gratitude (Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity…)
Prayer for Grace (Because alone it is impossible – Matthew 19:26)
Application (Live it out. Practice makes perfect. Lean in, and then lean in some more. Do not grow discouraged)

Mini Disclaimer: If any of this is hard for you to stomach or accept, that is totally normal. The appreciation of suffering is pretty far “advanced” in the spiritual life. (See free “Aspirations of Intimacy” Poster below) Maybe you aren’t “there yet”. There is no shame in this. We all have to walk our own path in order to get to this point. But, a lack of Understanding doesn’t make something less true. It might just need to be one of those things you stash in your back pocket until it begins to make sense.